I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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