is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dick very happy bro
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
