does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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