Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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