I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You are a genius and a whore.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
