McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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