Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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