Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
