I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
