She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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