There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
