You work out of a Hotel?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
