remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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