The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
