Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
