I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
