we're blogging at a bar
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
