shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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