My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
