you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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