ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
