so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize