Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
