Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
