the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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