It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
