I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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