last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize