Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
