I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
