I think my fart just growled at me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
