i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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