You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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