Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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