I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
