Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
