Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
