Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
