But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
