i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
