he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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