FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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