When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
