do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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