He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
