If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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