The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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