I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
