he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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