can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
