You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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