guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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