Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
