You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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