That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize