Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
