Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
