I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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