Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
