God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
