hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You're like the curious george of whores
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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