The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Barsexuality is the new black.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?