How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.