Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I think I just saw someone hide a body.

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  (917): I think I just saw someone hide a body. http://tfl.nu/2aay
  Replies (13) Good night (1502) Bad night (2647) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.

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  (760): No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend. http://tfl.nu/k1h1
  Replies (6) Good night (2238) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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  (201): A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead". http://tfl.nu/bwjk
  Replies (10) Good night (5658) Bad night (893)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.

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  (401): I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family. http://tfl.nu/wak4
  Replies (31) Good night (4902) Bad night (1868) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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  (317): I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me. http://tfl.nu/s4ft
  Replies (36) Good night (6970) Bad night (1353) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend

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  (954): Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/zfzy
  Replies (14) Good night (831) Bad night (3707) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

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  (205): he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off... http://tfl.nu/kran
  Replies (6) Good night (3371) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

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  (847): I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever http://tfl.nu/aala
  Replies (8) Good night (2562) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1436) Bad night (580)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.

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  (318): That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot. http://tfl.nu/7dw2
  Replies (12) Good night (1927) Bad night (899)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

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  (301): I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now. http://tfl.nu/ln6x
  Replies (8) Good night (2164) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

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  (941): I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head. http://tfl.nu/zqfr
  Replies (4) Good night (1144) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.

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  (815): Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night. http://tfl.nu/jyfi
  Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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  (513): Lets just say I chased with a burrito. http://tfl.nu/8s3e
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar

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  (303): I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar http://tfl.nu/zhfq
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt

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