Acid is not a monday night drug
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.