i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My pussy is not your playground.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
